


before it slips away

by sharkle



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, maggie is Shook and so am i, post-2x19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 06:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10803216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkle/pseuds/sharkle
Summary: Maggie tries to remind herself that Alex is okay, and that's all that really matters. But for all her talk about firsts, all she can think about is how she watched Alex walk out that door and didn't even realize that it could have been the last time.Alex and Maggie go home. Post-2x19.





	before it slips away

**Author's Note:**

> There are probably a million and a half things I should have been doing instead of writing this, but, here we are.
> 
> I'm not usually one to jump on the episode-addendum train, but 2x19 killed me and I can't stop thinking about it - particularly the fact that Rick stalked Alex and Maggie for a long time before ever doing anything, which I haven't really seen anyone address yet. Plus Maggie's broken-hearted face and teary eyes killed me a hundred times individually, and I need her to heal.
> 
> Unbeta'd and barely edited, so apologies for mistakes.
> 
> Title from "Say Something Loving" by The xx, which is a Sanvers song if I've ever heard one. Come talk to me @ [detmaggie](http://jodqriel.tumblr.com/)!

After punching Malverne in the jaw (which, _hot,_ Maggie thinks, and then glances around and hopes her thoughts don’t show on her face) and coming out no worse off for it, Alex gets cleared to go home for the night, with strict instructions to get plenty of rest and take it easy for a few days. Kara and J’onn and even Winn – although he falters a little when Alex so much as raises an eyebrow at him – all level intense glares at her as they threaten to tie her down, or worse, suspend her, if she tries to come into work for the next week.

Leaning heavily into Maggie’s side, Alex doesn’t even try to protest, doesn’t even start in with the typical “I’m a doctor” argument, which is how Maggie knows she must be really exhausted. She’s all obedient nods, even when Maggie asks – one more time, _just to check_ – if she’s sure she doesn’t want to stay at the DEO overnight.

“I’m okay,” Alex says, giving her a reassuring smile. “I’m just ready to go home.”

She wants to go home. _Home_ , with Maggie. Who she _loves_. Maggie has to catch her breath for a second.

“I can make that happen,” she promises.

And she turns, but before she can even scan the room to find him or open her mouth to say anything, J’onn is pressing a set of keys - presumably to a DEO vehicle - into her hand and giving her a serious look that she knows means _take good care of her_ , even without alien telepathy. Maggie nods back at him, and he squeezes Alex’s shoulder before wishing them both goodnight.

When it’s Kara’s turn, she pulls Alex into a hug that looks so tight Maggie actually gets kind of worried. Alex doesn’t seem to mind, though, just returns the embrace with every bit of her remaining strength.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Kara mumbles, and her voice is so thick that Maggie has to look away.

“Me, too,” Alex says quietly, with a breathy laugh. “Thanks for saving me, Supergirl.”

“Always.”

Maggie lets them have their moment, and just when they’re pulling away from each other and she decides she’s safe to look at them without getting a lump in her throat, Kara says, “Besides, it was a team effort.”

Still feeling warm and satisfied from their talk earlier, Maggie returns her smile easily. Alex looks between the two of them with fondness, and something like relief.

“Come over tomorrow night?” she says to Kara.

“Yeah.” Almost as though she can’t help herself, Kara pulls Alex back in for one more quick hug, like she’s making sure she gets enough to last her until tomorrow. “Love you. Get some rest.”

“Love you, too.”

Truthfully, Maggie expects to see the same kind of stern look on Kara’s face that was on J’onn’s, but that’s not what she gets. Instead there’s just openness, understanding, trust. _Well, we both love her._ Feeling like she’s been passed some kind of torch, Maggie wraps an arm around Alex’s waist and steers them toward the exit.

Halfway there, her steps slow as the thought occurs to her: “You gonna be okay with the elevator?”

Alex doesn’t even hesitate. “Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she says, but the warmth in her voice tells Maggie that she’s grateful she checked.

The elevator doors open at garage level. Alex helps her find the car that goes with the keys J’onn gave her, then proceeds to grumble that she’s _not an invalid, Maggie_ as she helps her into the passenger seat – not that Alex needs much help anyway. Luckily she doesn’t sound like she’s really annoyed. ( _Yet_. Maggie gives her three days until she starts to go stir-crazy.)

It’s late enough that most of the city traffic has dwindled to almost nothing by the time they get on the road, which makes the already-short trip to Alex’s place go even quicker than usual. Still, Maggie holds Alex’s hand the whole way there, her frayed nerves soothed by the gentle way Alex laces their fingers together, her thumb skimming back and forth across Maggie’s knuckle.

Alex gets out of the car before Maggie can even offer to help, like maybe she’s afraid Maggie wants to try to unbuckle her seatbelt for her. Maggie just raises her eyebrows and rests a hand on Alex’s back, ushering her inside.

“Elevator?” she asks again, and this time, Alex wavers.

Maggie does her best to keep her expression neutral, but a pang goes through her – if Alex never caught up with Kara the other night, then that means Malverne got to her somewhere between the door of her apartment and the ground floor. Maggie hadn’t really considered that until now, but judging by the look on Alex’s face, she supposes that's that mystery solved.

“Yeah,” Alex says finally. She marches over and jabs the button.

“Are you sure?”

The thought of Alex having to climb four flights of stairs in this state doesn’t thrill her, but she’ll make sure Alex never has to go near this elevator again if that’s what she needs. God, she’ll burn the damn thing down herself if that’s what Alex needs.

Alex takes her hand. “I’m sure.”

And she’s tense, and her grip is tight, but her voice is calm, and that’s why when the elevator dings Maggie allows herself to be led inside, lets Alex punch the button for her floor. As the doors close, Alex takes a deep breath. Maggie presses close to her, watching her carefully; Alex smiles down at her, and it’s tiny and strained, but it’s enough to get them through the ride up.

Maggie uses her key to get them into Alex’s apartment, because all Alex has on her is her phone, which Kara found for her back at Malverne’s house while Alex was resting at the DEO. As soon as she’s over the threshold, Alex heaves a sigh, the tension sliding off her shoulders, but Maggie still feels wary, alert, a prickly feeling at the back of her neck like she’s being watched.

Hours ago, she asked J’onn to check both of their apartments and phones and every other piece of technology they own for cameras, bugs – anything Malverne might have been using to surveil them.

“Way ahead of you,” he said, and assured her that he’d already ordered the sweeps, including Maggie’s car and each of their bikes. The team he’d sent hadn’t found any cameras, he told her, and their phones were clear – no way Malverne had access to a bug that would get through DEO security – but there had been microphones at each of their apartments, all removed now, of course. J’onn’s face was grim, sympathetic, as he delivered the news. Maggie thanked him anyway.

Now, standing in Alex’s apartment again, a hot mix of emotions swirls in her stomach – anger, fear, disgust. Malverne’s voice echoes in her head, leaving a sour taste at the back of her throat: _You care for her. I’ve seen that._ She doesn’t even want to think about all the things he saw, the things he _heard_ – moments that were meant to be for just the two of them, her and Alex, alone together in their own little world.

But Maggie won’t let those moments be tainted. They’re still _theirs_. And Malverne’s getting his memory wiped and his equipment confiscated and likely destroyed, and being hauled away with a giant bruise on his face, courtesy of Maggie’s beautiful, badass, incredibly brave girlfriend. Who _loves_ her. That thought grounds her enough to finally close the door behind them.

Maggie still throws the deadbolt, though, with maybe a little more force than necessary. And does the chain. Just as a precaution.

Alex watches her do it, and when Maggie turns back to her, her eyes are soft. She holds her arms out to Maggie, and she gladly steps into them, holding Alex tight as she sags against her. Alex is warm, and wonderfully heavy in her arms, and _safe_.

That’s all that matters, Maggie reminds herself, like a mantra. That’s what’s important.

“Ready for bed?” she murmurs.

“Mmhm.”

Alex lifts her head from Maggie’s shoulder, but instead of pulling back, she leans forward and kisses Maggie, soft, slow. Maggie melts into it, tightening her arms around Alex’s waist, pulling her in even closer. But that puts them at a kind of difficult angle for kissing, and they break apart after a few long moments, with Alex dropping one last peck on the corner of Maggie’s mouth.

“Come on,” Alex says, tilting her head toward her bed. All Maggie can do is nod and follow.

They get changed in silence, each keeping a close eye on the other and exchanging small, reserved smiles whenever their gazes meet. Leaving her jacket and boots in a pile on the floor, Maggie slides in under the sheets beside Alex. For a short while they just lie there on their sides, looking quietly at each other, just being together - until suddenly Alex laughs, covering her face with a hand.

“What?”

Alex gives her a look that is at once apologetic and wry. “First kidnapping, check.” Then, grimacing when Maggie doesn’t laugh: “Too soon?”

“Too soon,” Maggie says. She scoots forward and wraps Alex in an embrace, tucking Alex’s head under her chin. “Try again in a week or two, I promise I’ll laugh then.”

Alex presses a kiss to her chest, over her T-shirt. “Sorry.”

Maggie shakes her head; despite herself, she feels her eyes start to sting. Because she went to sleep in Alex’s bed alone the other night, expecting to be woken up at some ungodly hour by Alex crawling into bed with her (one of the only times Alex ever gets to be the big spoon without an argument), but she never _did_ and Maggie didn’t even _know_ until morning came and there was no note, no text, nothing except the panic spiking like lightning in her chest. The night before that, when Maggie slept over, that could have been the last time she ever shared a bed with Alex, the last time she ever got to hold her like this, and she hadn’t even known about it, hadn’t even _thought_ about it until it was almost too late.

Alex is okay now, that’s all that matters, she tries to tell herself. But for all her talk about firsts, all she can think about is how she watched Alex walk out the door after Kara without realizing that it could have been the last time she ever saw her, the last time they ever spoke through more than some crazy bastard’s torture setup, the last time they were ever in the same room together. How their last real conversation could have been a near-argument over Maggie and Kara not getting along. That stupid fight with Kara seems so insignificant now, in light of everything that’s happened.

Before she can pull herself together, Alex notices something’s wrong, because of course she does.

“You okay?” she says, even though her voice is rough with exhaustion, and like before, Maggie almost wants to laugh – she’s not the kidnapping and near-drowning victim here. But unlike before, now that she’s safely tucked away in Alex’s bed, and Alex isn’t in an infirmary with machines beeping all around her, she doesn’t try to brush it off.

“I can’t believe I almost lost you.”

Alex moves so she can meet Maggie’s eyes. “You didn’t,” she says, so gentle and so firm. “I’m right here.”

Maggie exhales shakily, lifts a hand to Alex’s face, to brush her hair out of her eyes.

“I’ve never –” She swallows, tries again. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before,” she whispers. She's said as much before, but somehow it’s a million times harder to admit, this time.

“Me neither,” Alex says.

“It’s scary.”

“Yeah, it is.” Alex kisses the inside of Maggie’s wrist. “But I think the point is to be scared together. And then it stops being scary.”

Maggie chews on that for a few moments, nodding slowly as the knot in her chest starts to loosen. She skims her thumb lightly over Alex’s cheekbone. “I love you.”

Alex’s answering smile is more peaceful than it was earlier, less desperate and aching. Her eyes are bright and she just looks _happy_ , and god, that’s all Maggie’s ever wanted. Forget Maggie’s life - the universe itself is better off with Alex Danvers in it, as long as she gets the chance to be happy that she deserves. And if Maggie can be the one to give her that chance? She never thought she would be so lucky.

“I love you,” Alex says. She kisses Maggie and puts her head back down, her cheek resting right over Maggie’s heart. Maggie wonders if she can feel it pounding. “So much. I’m… I'm really glad I got the chance to tell you.”

Maggie tugs her closer. “Me, too,” she sighs, closing her eyes.

It’s not until long after Alex’s breathing evens out that she finally gives herself permission to relax. Maggie finds herself counting Alex’s breaths like sheep – _in, out, in, out_ – feeling Alex’s chest expand with every miraculous puff of air against Maggie’s collarbone – and then, her and Alex's legs intertwined, finally, eventually, Maggie falls asleep.


End file.
